Crafting an email
So I get this today in my inbox:
Referral drive!!!
Gooday.
(Spacing below is preserved as in the initial letter)
I'm on a referral drive for new members to join (that gym) through
Discovery
Vitality. Attached below I've included a referral form with space for 5
names
and numbers of working collueges, friends or family members you can think
of
that would benefit from using our facilities.
Please complete it and forward it back to me via e-mail(e-mail address
given
below).
Your effort and assistance in this regard would be greatly appreciated.
Kind Regards...
(Personal details removed at the 4-years-later request of the crafter)
(followed by a WHOLE BUNCH of blank lines)
(followed by a pdf attachment. That we should fill in and email back)
I replied:
Good god, where to start
Don't use multiple exclamation marks, especially in the title. It just makes you look like an idiot. In fact, don't use any exclamation marks in the title at all.
In a corporate mailing, try to get the spelling right. 'Gooday' and 'collueges' just don't make a good impression. Either run it through Word's spellchecker or get a colleague to read it first.
The spacing and linebreaks in your message are very weird. I don't want to scroll down for two pages before I get to the attachment. This I am suspecting might be something software related rather than you pressing Enter thousands of times (I hope).
Attaching a form for us to fill in and email back is all well and good, and is likely to get the most responses. However, the attechment then needs to be in some sort of writable format, such as .doc, or just inline in the email text. A .pdf is not writable.
Hope this helps you on your next foray into the world of email marketing
Jason
Referral drive!!!
Gooday.
I'm on a referral drive for new members to join (that gym) through
Discovery
Vitality. Attached below I've included a referral form with space for 5
names
and numbers of working collueges, friends or family members you can think
of
that would benefit from using our facilities.
Please complete it and forward it back to me via e-mail(e-mail address
given
below).
Your effort and assistance in this regard would be greatly appreciated.
Kind Regards...
I replied:
Good god, where to start
Don't use multiple exclamation marks, especially in the title. It just makes you look like an idiot. In fact, don't use any exclamation marks in the title at all.
In a corporate mailing, try to get the spelling right. 'Gooday' and 'collueges' just don't make a good impression. Either run it through Word's spellchecker or get a colleague to read it first.
The spacing and linebreaks in your message are very weird. I don't want to scroll down for two pages before I get to the attachment. This I am suspecting might be something software related rather than you pressing Enter thousands of times (I hope).
Attaching a form for us to fill in and email back is all well and good, and is likely to get the most responses. However, the attechment then needs to be in some sort of writable format, such as .doc, or just inline in the email text. A .pdf is not writable.
Hope this helps you on your next foray into the world of email marketing
Jason
posted by Synkronos at 3:35 pm
3 Comments:
Actually, you can do forms in PDF, although I have yet to see any companies using them
You have too much time on your hands, I just deleted the one I got. He's lucky I didn't mark it as spam, but that was more effort than I was willing to give it.
This was not one of those. This was the form that I have been handed at various gyms all over, the one obviously meant to be printed out and not altered by the idiots along the way. Which is kinda what pdf was intended for in the first place, write-protection of sorts
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